Thursday, May 23, 2019

Melt Down

Sunday May 19

Yesterday I had a melt down!
These past few weeks we have worked almost daily on our house, like until 9-10pm. I usually have dinner ready at 5 when Kory gets home. After dinner the girls do the dishes while Kory, Hunter and I and sometimes Maddie go outside to work on the house. During the days I keep busy with getting ready for girls camp, kids projects, kids programs, kids field trips, book work for our business and just the every day chores of keeping our home clean and tidy. These past few weeks of keeping so busy has really worn me out!

We knew the upcoming week was going to be pretty stormy. We were trying to get the new part of the house dried in but didn't quite make it. We woke up to water in our house Sunday morning. 



There was nothing we could do about it which was the worse feeling ever!
The rain was coming down towards the front of the house instead of the side of the house like usual. Friday and Saturday we framed our new walls. So the rain was hitting our new wall and running right down it. There was nothing to keep the water out. 


As the morning progressed the leaking water got worse. 
It was coming in our room between the ceiling and wall.  

A little while later the water was seeping through the middle of the wall where the 2 sheets meet. 


It was seeping in through our new family room, laundry room, bathroom and our master bedroom. 

Kory nor I was happy to say the least. We were both besides ourselves. I wanted to cry but I held it in. Until..........we got to chuch. Sacrament begins each Sunday at 12:00. I was fine on our way to church, I was fine when we sat down. But then out of the blue I was hit with the overwhelming feeling of defeat, disapointment, discouragment, frustration. The list could go on and on and on. I just couldn't fathom what the outcome of all this rain would mean? The rain for the week was just starting. We had rain, lots of rain in the forecast for the next 5 days. Would it ruin all that sheetrock? Would we need to replace it all? How many hours of work would we have to "re-do"? The tears just came. And they came and came. Sacrament began, my kids kept asking Dad if Mom was alright, why was she crying? I tried to stop the tears but I couldn't. I pinched myself, I dug my fingernails into my arm, I bit my tongue. I was trying to do anything to stop the tears, to get control over my emotions. But nothing worked! I cried silent tears all through sacrament. The opening song was "Count Your Many Blessings". I laughed inside. Instead of singing I tried counting my blessings. I had healthy children, I had a roof over our heads even though it did leak terribly. I may have woken up to a wet bedroom floor but my bed was dry. I have running water, My kids are in bedrooms instead of all out in the family room. We have good work, good employees, food on our table. Why was I still crying? 

I cried for an hour. Kory leaned over and showed me a text from a family friend asking if I was o.k. Oops! Nearing the end of sacrament meeting the tears finally dried up. I wiped my cheeks dry and went to the bathroom to make sure make-up wasn't smeared all over my face. Kory and I went to Sunday School together. I kept thinking the worse thing the rain could cause was that we'd have to replace the sheetrock up against that wall. Maybe 10 pieces? Yes that is kind of a lot but at least it's not taped and textured or painted yet. It would take time, time we'd rather spend doing something besides "re-doing work" but it would be o.k. I can do hard things!  

After sacrament meeting another friend came up who had been sitting in front of us during Sacrament asking if I was o.k. Immediately the water works turned on. I cried in the middle of the church hallway as people were walking all around us. I told her what had happened and how defeated I was feeling. Our house construction has been going on for almost 2 years now. I just want a "normal" house! I just could not control the tears. She was so kind and invited our family over for dinner later on. When we got home I told Kory I was skipping lunch and taking a nap. I slept from 2:30 till almost 5 when it was time to go to our friends. I woke up feeling much better and in control of my emotions. The rain kept coming, the water seeping in was making a bigger and bigger wet patch but I didn't have to sit the evening through watching it. I didn't even take a picture of the big wet patches we had. I didn't want the reminder! The rain stopped during the night and by Monday morning it had mostly dried.  We are suppose to get rain everyday till Friday of this week. We are all praying the wind or rain will change its direction so it hits the house in a different direction so it doesn't ruin anything. The sheetrock got wet but hopefully it will continue to dry out and we won't have to replace anything! That's what we're praying for anyways. 


*Update. Today is Thursday May 23rd. As the forecast predicted we recieved rain every single day this week. Some days it felt like the rain never stopped while others it seemed to have barely rained at all. Heavenly Father has heard our prayers! The rain came down in a different direction and hasn't once made it inside my house or behind the sheetrock! Thank you, thank you, thank you Heavenly Father!*  

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